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How I Rebuilt My Destroyed Confidence

Posted by Cameron on December 17, 2009
Learning, People

ConfidenceI’ve never been a good student.  I got about 64% in both high school & university.  I’ve never felt smart.  I’ve often felt like I have no idea what I’m really doing.  And I often feel like I must be doing something wrong otherwise how could it be so easy?  My mind would spin with thoughts of ‘How could someone that was always told by the education system they were a C or D student actually be smart enough to really teach CEOs how to grow companies?’

Something started to change for me about 6 years ago, when I was already 38 years old.  I was taking a course trying to learn how to get better as a leader and I came across my ‘unique ability’.  I realized that I’m awesome at using quick intuitive alternatives to help CEOs reverse engineer their dreams.  Like architects help homeowners put their ideas into blueprints and get them built into a home, I help CEOs get the ideas out of the heads, and help them build the teams and systems to make their dreams happen.  To me it feels easy.  To me I wonder why they’d pay me to do what feels so simple.  And to me I keep thinking I’d do it for free – but my kids like to eat and I like expensive toys.  So I gotta charge for it.

Once I learned what I was great at, I began eliminating everything else from my day-to-day.  I began to focus on finding clients that fit me.  I found that I work best with young, fun, entrepreneurial, high viral, high growth, pre-public companies.  My ideas resonate with them.  They get huge value from my systems.  And they feel like I’m cheap compared to paying for someone with my skills full time.

The more time I spend in my ‘unique ability’ now coaching & mentoring CEOs and the teams running entrepreneurial companies the more I feel I’m on my game.  Malcolm Gladwell said a person needs at least 10,000 hours to be an expert.  I’ve been coaching or building entrepreneurial companies for 60,000 hours (45,000 hours alone in the franchising space).  No wonder I’ve more than maintained my nerve.  My company is growing very fast and I’m helping tons of great companies globally with my coaching programs & DVDs on leading and building companies.

I realize now that the teachers and professors who told me I didn’t know what I was doing had never built a company.  They’d never run great teams of people to lead. They had however perhaps unknowingly destroyed my nerve and confidence for years upon years.  Five years ago I started writing down the things I’d accomplished each week.  Weekly writing down my successes like this helped re-build my confidence.  Now companies that I helped build and lead are case studies in textbooks and are studied at MBA programs around the USA & Canada.   And last year I was the highest rated lecturer at MIT’s Entrepreneurial Masters Program.  It wasn’t easy but I have definitely got my nerve back.

A quote I read by Theodore Roosevelt in 1910 has given me the confidence now that I’m smart and perhaps my teachers weren’t as smart as I thought…

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement.”

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15 Comments to How I Rebuilt My Destroyed Confidence

Roy
December 17, 2009

Fantastic! Just what I needed today. Thanks Cameron for being so open.

Rod Hardman
December 17, 2009

That quote, slightly modified, was also used by Kennedy (His writers were relentless plagerists) at an address to a special forces school I believe – it’s one of my favorites!

Holly McLennan
December 18, 2009

I admire how open and candid you are here Cameron. That is a favorite quote as well.

Jamie Flinchbaugh
December 19, 2009

Excellent post!

John Hittler
December 23, 2009

Cameron,

The world needs more of your Unique Ability, especially during this time of great change.

Be well.

JH

Wendy
January 5, 2010

Cameron,
Two things jumped out at me in this post: first, finding your unique ability. How many of us actually do that instead of blindly following a career path we started out on many years ago … a path which may no longer suit the people we have become.

I was also struck by your sentence “Once I learned what I was great at, I began eliminating everything else from my day-to-day. ”

Nearly five years ago, I changed careers and happily fell in love with my new career. So I found one of my unique abilities. What I have not yet learned to do is eliminate everything else from my day-to-day in order to become an expert in my field.

Thank you for sharing your experience and for the clarity with which you delivered this message. It will, I think, be a help to me as I work to build my business this year. A great start to 2010.

warmly,
Wendy

Wilkin
January 5, 2010

Hi Cameron,

Thank you for this post, I think I can really relate to how you felt in the beginning. I’m curious as to, how did you find out what your strength was? Was it a light bulb moment or did you take steps to bring it out of you? I look forward to your response, i hope i can apply it to myself!

cheers,

Wilkin

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Cameron
January 5, 2010

Hey Wilkin –

The light bulb started to really turn on for me three years ago – funny because for the 3-6 years prior I’d been having some huge successes and media coverage too but I wasn’t letting it sink in.

What worked for me – was I started writing – for 3 months I wrote about 20 min a day. I wrote lists:
What did I love?
What did I hate?
What was I good at?
What accomplishments had I had? I wrote those out by year from 1990-2007.
What had I done related to:
-Marketing
-IT
-Finance
-PR
-Operations
-PR
-People
etc.. I made lists of everything I’d ever done related to every business area on an Org Chart I could remember touching.

With those lists – confidence came surging to the surface. Now when it wanes – I can re-read the lists……

Hope that helps.

Cameron
p.s. Another Tip – At the end of each week write down the TOP 5 Successes You Had. Let them sink in. Do that silently for a year and watch your confidence grow. I did that ever week for 6 months in 07/08 when starting BackPocket COO

uberVU - social comments
January 6, 2010

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by CameronHerold: @unmarketing This is me being a bit vulnerable – http://www.backpocketcoo.com/blog/learning/how-i-rebuilt-my-destroyed-confidence/...

Wilkin
January 6, 2010

Hey Cameron,

Thank you so much for that. I am definitely going to give all of those tips a try. Hopefully soon I will be singing a different tune. I know i’m not the only one going through this kind of thing, but its a big boost getting a helping hand sometimes.

Thank you Cameron!

Wilkin

Andrea
March 24, 2010

Excellent…coming from the school of hard knocks and lack of academia myself, I love what you’ve written..great post.

Love this post!

Yes, so glad you are sharing your unique gift with the world. When beautiful things wash up on your shores, remember it is because you have previously gotten knocked flat by the storm – you deserve the clear, idyllic, sunny days!

Cameron
March 31, 2010

Thanks Laurie – I’m having fun.

Cameron
March 31, 2010

Thanks Andrea – just calling it like I see it (or rather like I experienced it).

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